White Chicken Chili

I have quite given up on ever regularly contributing to my blog.  I'm far too inconsistent of a person, like a bottle rocket.  However, I had a thought this morning that made my food blog seem more practical, not an all or nothing proposition.  It's at least a very good place to put my recipes.  I can put them on my computer, but computers are updated every couple years and I generally lose some files in the process.  Also, it does take away the stress of imagining that I have to write to an audience.  I can just jot down a recipe the way I understand, which is usually as a concept and not a set list of measures and times.

My wife complains that I can never leave a recipe alone .  .  . and that's true.  Most recipes can be improved.  A while ago, my wife started making a white chicken chili recipe that was good, but mainly it was good because of all the garnish that she put on top, or what she called, 'fixins'.  Her recipe used canned beans and chicken breasts.  Canned beans are too salty, too mushy, and not a good value on the dollar.

Here's my version .  .  .

Beans

Any white beans will do, Great Northern, Navy, White Canellini.  I do this part first thing in the morning and then let the cooked beans sit in their cooking liquid in the fridge all day.  It's a pretty good step if you have time as it allows the bean broth to soak into the beans and the rest that doesn't develops a very nice viscosity.  

• 1 lb. dry beans (no presoaking required)
• 3 bay leaves
• 1 onion, peeled and halved
• 10 peppercorns
• pinch red pepper flakes
• dollop of chicken base

60 minutes pressure cooker, high pressure.  Turn off stove.  Allow the beans to sit in the fridge while most of their liquid continues to incorporate.  I don't like to have to waste any valuable bean broth.  Remove the bay leaves.  The onion will disintegrate into the beans.  At this point the beans could be made into anything.  Add chopped herbs and Parmesan for a side dish or you could add just chicken stock and blend into a simple soup.

The Rest .  .  . 

Pull the meat from one store-bought rotisserie chicken. You could also make this recipe with braised pork shoulder.  

***Optional:  Put all the chicken bones, fat, liquid from the store container in the pressure cooker. (If you're doing this step, you have to remove the beans and all their liquid to another container.) Pour 3 qts. of chicken stock/broth over the bones and bring up to high pressure for 20 minutes.  Pour through a strainer.***

Saute two onions and 4-5 large garlic cloves.  

Combine all elements. Add two cans of mild green chilies and one can of hot green chilies.  Add two teaspoons of Alton Brown Taco Potion No. 9 and fresh cracked black pepper. Bring back to high pressure for 20 minutes, but do NOT add the chicken meat in.  You should put that in at the last minute.  Also add more chicken base if needed before final cooking phase.  

Before adding chicken meat, use an immersion blender to blend about 1/3-1/2 of the beans to thicken the chili. (Yes, I know it's technically a chicken bean soup/stew.) Finally add all the chicken meat, taking care not to break it up into small pieces.  Add a full bunch of freshly chopped cilantro.  

Optional garnishes: (My wife's favorite part.)

• Corn chips (My preference is Fritos.)
• Sour cream (My preference is Mexican crema.)
• Grated Colby-Jack (You could also use Queso Fresco.)
• Diced avocado
• More fresh cilantro

Pork Chop!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ubiquitous pork chop.  Kicking around in the frozen tundra of the freezer.  Loyally waiting to surrender its duties on Wednesday night.  Fried, sauteed, baked, it's a versatile workhorse in the kitchen.  It's been abused over the decades, generally succumbing to being over cooked and then drowned in the likes of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, served over some potatoes or some mincing minute rice.

As a child, I generally have memories of the pork loin chop (overcooked) or pork roast, served on Sundays in lieu of beef pot roast.  I never remember it being anything special.  So, no romantic childhood memories of pork dinners for this blog! Lately, it's been bothering me.  I generally try and elevate even weekday dinners to at least something worthy of a mid-level bistro.  But the fact is, I generally arrive home from work around 7-8 and it's hard to create magic when you haven't been home all day.  And my wife loves the pork chop.  Often I will finish mine to look over and find her plate with nothing but a bare bone left.  She generally then proceeds to remove any trace of porkiness that I may have left on my bones.  

First, let me discuss some basics of the pork chop:  It's generally best to perfect the basic French sear-bake technique.  This is generally the technique that can be used for most fish, meat, poultry, and even eggs.  It's best to have your chops prepared by drying them off, coating with a thin coat of olive oil, salt and pepper, and then allowing them to have rested up to room temperature.  Proceed with a fairly hot stainless steel skillet or saute.  Place the pork chops, without overcrowding, in the pan and do not move them for at least three minutes.  Reduce heat if there is excess smoking.  You do want a little bit of smoke to know that things are proceeding correctly.  The object is to achieve a nice caramely brown sear on the entire bottom surface of the pork chop.  Your pork chop may stick at first, but do not despair.  The sugars will caramelize, a crust will form, and then the chop will release from the stainless steel.  Trust me.  Flip the chop and drop into a preheated 425F oven for 5-7 minutes until the pork chop comes up to an internal temperature of 145F.  Any hotter and your chop will have perished.  I actually pull mine at 135F, tent with aluminum foil and then let the carryover heat rest them up to 145F. 

While a heritage breed pork chop, like the Berkshire hogs pictured at the top of this post taste absolutely delicious this way, the standard pork chops from Costco do not have such rewards.  They need a bit of coaxing and that is where a quick weekday brine has come in to save the day!  I've used a brine here not only for flavor, but also for ease of thawing and timing of dinner.  

I am not always the biggest fan of brine.  Quite frankly, it's cumbersome and I don't think that it always optimizes the flavor of the meat.  Sometimes it just makes the meat taste cured and I don't always enjoy that effect.  For a traditional brine one mixes water, salt, sugar, and aromatics such as mirepoix, garlic, herbs, and citrus and brings them just to a boil.  Then one proceeds by removing the brine from the heat and then it has to be absolutely chilled before putting the meat in which then must brine for 8-72 hours.  I really don't have that kind of time in the morning when I'm heading out the door.  Another problem when thawing meat for dinner is this:  If you simply put it in the fridge, it will still be frozen when you come home at 7 in the evening.  You could leave it on the counter, but then you risk it sitting in the room temperature window for far too long, risking food safety.  

So, I did three things by adapting a recipe from Anne Burrell: I stopped heating the brine, I removed all the aromatics in the brine process, and I added fennel pollen to my spice cabinet.  Not only does this add flavor, and save time and money, (all the aromatics cost $$$), it fine tuned the thawing process to be safe and time effective.  This way, the pork chops are perfectly brined and thawed by the time I return home in the evening and there is no risk of food safety by leaving them on the counter.  

So here goes:  I've already described to you the sear and bake technique of cooking above.  Use that.  I'm just going to go over my quick cold brine process.  Place 2-4 frozen or thawed rib or t-bone pork chops in a 2 qt sealable container.  I prefer a Cambro container.  Pour over 1/2 c. kosher salt (no you cannot substitute any other kind) and 1/3 c. sugar.  Fill the container all the way to the top with cold water and seal the container.  Over the kitchen sink, shake the container until all the sugar and salt is even distributed throughout the water and the pork chops.  Put this in the for at least six hours.  Or you can leave for up to a couple days if your evening plans change.  Note that not all the sugar and salt will have dissolved.  Don't worry about this. Proceed with the cooking technique described above aiming for a nice rosy medium finish in the center of the chop/near the bones.  

You'll have noticed that I subtracted the aromatics from the brining process.  That's because it saves time by removing the need to heat the brine and saves money by not dumping a whole bunch of flavors into the brine.  It's kind of a shortcut but the flavors imparted during the brining process are so subtle, I think it's much more cost effective to simply add them just before serving.  For my recipe, after I flip the pork chops and before I put them into the oven to finish, I dust them with black pepper, fennel pollen, and crushed red pepper.  (If you're grilling out, coat the fat rind of the chop with the fennel pollen before grilling, don't sprinkle it on the flat side or it will burn.) It makes them come out of the oven smelling and tasting like Italian sausages, this "sausage" effect is only furthered by the juicy texture imparted by the brine process. Note that you do not need to salt the pork chops as you normally would because you've already done so in the brine process.  Another option is to whip up a quick garlic/lemon/EVOO vinaigrette and brush this onto the chops as they come out of the oven. With this vinaigrette technique in conjunction with the cold brine process, you will never miss the fact that you omitted aromatics from the brine.  Enjoy.  Please leave any questions or comments below.  

Don't Labor in Vain

The iconic American hamburger, is there anything that is more quintessential to backyard entertaining? The hot dog? Ribs? Grilled local sustainable vegetables? Certainly not.  I submit to you that it is the burger.  I looked at the date of my last post and realized that I am a terrible blogger.  C'est la vie.  But I am inspired by the millions of burgers that will be ruined this coming Monday and decided to jot down a little overview of the burger.

Certainly the hamburger is not made of pork or ham.  The implication is always ground beef unless stated otherwise.  The name comes from it's historical origin, Hamburg in Germany.  Now there are many claims as to who actually invented it and I'm not interested in that for our purposes today.  My main points are that many people do not properly cook them well.  I also feel that too many toppings have been taking away from the essence of the beef flavor.  While I enjoy variation, I revel in well executed simplicity even more.

Childhood memories of the burger include McDonald's cheeseburgers and homemade burgers both grilled and pan fried.  I haven't eaten at McDonald's in about 20 years; so it's been a long time.  But I do remember a fully cooked, thin patty, that was donned with ketchup, mustard, pickles, and processed American Cheese. I thought it was good at the time.  Hamburgers made at home offered little variation from this format.

I think the thing that automatically pops into the American mind these days is still much the same with the addition of possibly mayo, iceberg lettuce, and sliced tomato.  But really, this is not a tasty combination.  The bun is usually flavorless.  A classic burger bun probably used to be genuine challah, or brioche that actually tasted of butter and eggs.  (Not that I think the bun should dominate or be chewy.  More on that later.) Tomatoes are not in season eleven out of the twelve months of the year, tasting anemic and essentially wasting space and money. Iceberg, while crunchy, is flavorless.  Ketchup is generally overly sweet and under spiced.  At least a classic yellow mustard and the pickles are generally zingy and flavorful despite their origin.  And my biggest beef (pun intended), is that the burger is generally overcooked.  Besides, with so many ingredients and lubricating condiments, the whole thing tends to slide apart upon actually eating the damned thing.

Let's start with the beef.  There are many options out there.  But right off the bat, I'm going to argue that you stop buying pre-ground beef, unless you are at a store where you are confident that it is actually well trimmed meat that was ground on the same day.  This all started one day, during my undergrad years, when I was at the store and the label on the beef said, "May contain ground beef from one or a combination of any of these countries: [the label then proceeded to list at least 10 countries, not even ones that were close to the US]." I realized that while I eat meat, I cannot rest easy eating a hamburger that started on several different continents. Besides, how many times can you remember breaking apart raw hamburger at home and realized that a nefarious butcher has wrapped darker, oxidized ground beef inside fresh ground beef. I am not anti-aging when it comes to beef.  The best steaks are dry-aged but hamburgers are not the time for that.

And what cut of beef? There are many chefs and recipes that argue for sirloin, ribeye, chuck, round, even filet has been suggested.  Madness all of it.  I use 100% chuck 100% of the time.  Here's why: It's affordable and also contains an optimal ratio of fat to meat.  While I think the massively popular Food Network has educated us about this, many still use a mixture that is far too lean, easily overcooks, and is lacking the fat that is essential to that concentrated "beefy" flavor.  Also, it's more expensive.  Forgot to mention earlier that grinding beef can often save you money because you're taking that job away from the butcher.  And if it's not and you're in a store where chuck costs more than ground beef you should maybe be asking yourself why that is? So buy yourself a nice chuck roast.  It's also easy to cut it into strips and run it through your meat grinder.

Okay, then your home from the store with your chuck roast, buns or rolls of some type, and your condiments.  Pop your chuck roast into the freezer for a few minutes while you put away groceries, set up your food grinder (We're going to assume one is using the KA stand mixer with grinder attachment.), and crack a beer or pop a bottle of wine.  We put the meat into the fridge, not only because it just warmed up on its journey from the store, but meat also grinds better when it is cold.  It's also a bit easier to cut it, especially if you only have pedestrian knives.

The KA grinder comes with two standard dies and you can use either of them, it's a matter of preference but if you use the large die, you have to run it through twice.  Using the smaller one is easy, and you only have to run the meat through once.  However it does create a grind that is easier to over compress when forming the patties, thus risking a dense burger.  You don't want a dense burger.  The large die creates a satisfying chew, but the burger falls apart a bit too easily.  Thus you have to run it through again to develop the myosin proteins in the meat that will make it stickier.  This will allow you to form burgers that have a better texture and hold together without you have to overwork the meat.  Did you know you were conducting science experiments every time you made burgers?

Now you can have your grill pre-heated, or you can make these ahead of time and then grill later, even tomorrow.  I actually find that, just like steak, it's easier to hit a consistent medium rare when the meat is at room temperature before I start.  Yeah, I eat them medium rare, kind of gross for some, but I also devour steak tartar so I don't see the big deal.  Most folks prefer medium and I don't stand at the grill taking orders about what temp you like yours.  You're getting medium unless you request medium rare.  Requests for overcooked burgers are ignored.

Take your chuck out of the freezer.  It should be very cold to the point of just starting to freeze on the edges.  Rinse if you like and pat dry.  This is another junction to observe why grinding your own meat, as Martha would say, "A good thing".  You can observe the whole muscle and know that it's not contaminated with anything unsavory.  You could chop it up and eat it raw if the fancy strikes you.  Also, you can be confident that it's the quality you need to enjoy a medium or medium rare burger. Another advantageous thing you can do is season the cut, pre-ground meat with your salt and pepper at this junction.  This will result in seasoning throughout the entire burger, not just on the outside which tends to fall into the flames anyway.  If you do choose to do it the old fashion way and just season the outside of the patties, do it ahead of time so that the salt has time to penetrate the meat.

Now there are those that might jump in at this point and argue that pre-salting will dry out your product and result in a less juicy burger.  Rubbish.  Moisture is extracted from the burger but the amount is negligible and the flavor trade-off you get more than makes up for it.  Chuck is 20-30% fat and no amount of salt is going to pull out those chunks of fat that are going to be internally basting your burger when it hits the grill.  But I digress.

Run the meat through the die, the large one twice or the smaller one once.  You can also choose to season the meat at this junction in the bowl because you're going to mix it lightly with your fingers, but it's the less dependable junction ensure the most even salt distribution.  You're going to mix the meat to distribute season but more importantly, you're distributing the fat.  In chuck, the fat tends to be concentrated in big veins.  After you grind it into a bowl, those are broken up but they're all still in one general spot and you don't want it all to go into only one or two burgers.  Now with our fingers spread apart, and palms upward, LIGHTLY, run your hands down the side of the bowl and then LIGHTLY, pull them straight up.  Rotate your bowl 90 degrees and do this a few times, just until the fat is evenly distributed throughout your ground beef.  Do not overwork the meat or try to get it to form together.  This is another reason why you wanted your chuck to be on the edge of frozen, it helps to evenly mix everything without forming an emulsion.  By the way, Gyro meat is the exact opposite; it's a dense emulsion of meat called forcemeat.

Now to form the burgers, I use a scale.  I know that that may seem to be a bit anal compulsive to some, but I like the precision and if I know how many burgers I need, I can simply divide the ounces of ground meat by the number of burgers to get a precise estimate of how many ounces each burger need be.  However, I generally know way ahead of time how many I'm going to make and I buy exactly that much chuck at the store. Also, since I go to so much trouble, I generally make more than I need and then vacuum seal and freeze two patties together.  (Side by side,  not on top of each other unless they're separated by parchment.) I make my regular burgers 8 oz. each and my sliders are, gulp, 4 oz. each which is probably the size a normal burger should be.  Let's not discuss that.  Also, by using a 1/4 c. measuring cup I generally get a very satisfying fat little (by that I mean big) slider that weighs 4 oz. For the regular size burgers, place a bowl or plastic wrap on the scale, tare the weight back to 0, then I pile the still fairly loose meat until it weighs 8 oz. the THEN, ONLY THEN, I form the patties.  This should only be done 1) once, 2) lightly, and 3) quickly. You want a nice big disc that is just slightly larger than the bun so that when it cooks and shrinks to the size of the bun.  Some people squeeze a dimple into the center of the patty so that when it cooks the burger is flat, but even my OCD doesn't go that far despite how busy it is inside my head.

Now there is variation that you can use at this point: you can put your cheese INSIDE the burger.  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?! I'm sure that most have seen this kind of burger offered at restaurants and bars.  I'm proud to say that this was invented in my college stomping grounds, and the land I will return to someday to buy a house, the Twin Cities.  It's called a Jucy Lucy [sic] or a Juicy Lucy and there is an intense rivalry between two bars in south Minneapolis about the credit for inventing and the spelling. Anyway, it's kind of gimmicky but it's a gimmick that works.

I do not like cheese that is overly melted and running off the burger.  A lot of flavor is lost this way as the cheese runs into the flames or simply absorbs into the bun.  I don't like having to bother with cheese at the last minute timing the temperature of the burger and the melting time needed by the cheese.  My favorite is when the cheese is just sweating and JUST starting to bend around the burger.  Warm but not runny.  So when you put the cheese inside the burger, this kind of happens automatically depending on the temperature. If you like melted cheese AND medium rare this is not going to work. And for those who like well done and melty cheese, rejoice your cheese is contained and none is lost to the flames! It also works very well when you want to use crumbly Feta or blue cheese as the crumbles don't roll off the top.  (Ina Garten actually puts a pat of butter in the middle of her burgers.  I've done it and it works great if you're using leaner meat. Bit of overkill if you're already working with fatty chuck.) To execute this wonder of burger lore, simply form (2) 4 oz. patties and sandwich the cheese in the middle leaving a 1/2" margin with no cheese on the edges.  Use the margin to seal the cheese so that it reduces the chances of your cheese running out.

Back to the process.  If you haven't seasoned your meat yet, do so now and give the salt a few minutes to dissolve into the meat.  No use salting and immediately throwing it onto the grill only to have the salt & pepper sacrifice itself to the grilling gods.  I also like to brush the patties with a light coating of olive oil.  This does two things: 1) Helps to avoid sticking to the grill and 2) promotes browning which is important for both flavor and visual presentation.  Wow, it is a busy place in my head.  I'm well over 2,000 words and haven't gotten those darn patties on the grill yet.

Onward to the fire, comrades. There are many opinions about grilling so I won't spend time dissing (Yeah, I said 'dissing'. What you gonna do about it?) others revered traditions.  I'll just describe how I do it.  Now, I'm sorry if you don't own a Big Green Egg grill, but I do.  They're getting more and more popular every year but I've had mine for eight years.  I also replaced the original grid with a cast iron cooking grid. I L-O-V-E it.  It seasons just like a cast iron pan, forming a natural nonstick surface.  It has much greater weight than the normal stainless steel, thus retaining much more heat.  And it produces excellent grill marks that are both larger and further apart.  Makes your burgers look like they came right out of a steakhouse commercial. The char or the burn also adds flavor that I personally like.  I get my grill rocket hot to make sure that the cooking grid is thoroughly heated through.  This both produces grill marks and helps to prevent sticking. So I let it rip for like 20-30 minutes before I even begin.  The thermometer generally reads about 500-600 degrees. I use direct heat only because the high temperature generally cooks the burgers through before they burn. You may have to use a combination of direct and indirect heat on your grill.

Ummmhhh, have we started grilling yet? So your grill is rocket hot, commence.  Put your burgers on the grill, you might get some minor flare ups but don't panic yet. Put the top back on the grill and leave your burgers alone for two minutes at least.  Grilling is like faith; you have to believe it's happening without a whole bunch of questions.  Grilling with the lid is going to reduce flare ups, which imparts a nasty chemical taste, and it also helps the burger to cook internally faster.  We're racing to get the middle done with just enough char on the outside.  It's an art form that you need to practice.   I absolutely hate watching people grill burgers with the lid off, poking, fussing, moving, pressing (Do NOT press your burgers!), and generally worrying.

Now depending on the temperature of the grill, you can check them.  Careful taking the lid off, it's gonna encourage flare ups.  (And careful raising the lid on the BGE.  If the thermometer is greater than 500F and you raise it too quickly, it will cause a flashback, igniting the oxygen around the grill and singing all the hair off your forearms and possibly your eyebrows.  This has happened to me a couple times and it's not a joke. But then most BGEers know how to "burp" their grill to prevent this.) Flip your burgers once, just once.  If you didn't fuss and move your patties about and your grill was rocket hot, you will have beautiful char lines.  If your burgers stick, leave them alone until they go through the sticking "curve" and release.  Don't panic and try to scrape it off the grill as you will do more damage than good. Also, still being stuck to the grill is an indication that your grill isn't as awesomely hot as mine and the burger isn't cooking quickly. So you've flipped.  Time to go back to the faith of grilling and put the lid back on.  Do not press your burgers.  It does cook them faster by pressing out the blood and juices, but it causes flare ups and it does produce a less juicy burger. Not good.  A minute or so before they're done, put your cheese on if you haven't executed the Juicy Lucy.

The buns.  Any bun will do but I've really been on to onion rolls lately.  They make a great onion roll at a local grocery store here in Chicago that is the marriage of sweet Hawaiian bread and the onion roll and I think it's absolutely perfect. I've also been using the regular King's Hawaiian rolls for my sliders.  The flavor complement is great. Other great choices would be challah, brioche, or the currently popular pretzel bun.  English muffins also work very well.  So there's a few ways to skin a cat, but my favorite trick is to take all the buns out of the bag, put the burger in the bun and then put the burgers in their rolls back into the bag.  Twist the bag securely shut and rest the burgers for 2-5 minutes.  This rests the actual burger meat so that  the juices don't come bursting out upon biting into it, and it perfectly steam heats the buns.  You can also brush each bun with butter and warm it on the grill but it's much less convenient than the steam method.  Besides, my burgers are already so flavorful, and I'm def going to slather on some mayo, that I've found that the buttered roll is a bit much.  Even if you don't use the steam method, you still want the burgers to rest covered for a few minutes.  Same as steak, they're going to finish cooking a bit more and the juices in the meat will slow down so they won't run out of the meat as readily.

There are infinite condiments and toppings to put on your burger so we won't discuss that in detail here.  But I challenge you this: try to stick to three additions counting the cheese.  A current favorite of mine is Havarti, sliced olives, and mayo.  I like to put the sliced olives under the melted cheese because they fall off so easily.  And I leave you with one burger recipe, that is not mine.  It originated in Minneapolis at Cafe Barbette where I spent way too much time and money .  .  . but none that I regret.  I hope you enjoy your holiday this year with a better burger.

The Royale with Cheese

• English muffins, preferably homemade or Bays sourdough
• butter
• ground beef seasoned with salt, pepper, and fresh thyme 
• Brie, preferably triple cream, such as Affinoix
• Caramelized onions
• 2-3 yellow onions (1 lb.) 
• butter and olive oil
• S & P
• fresh thyme
• sugar

Make the onions well ahead of time.  In any large, heavy pan with a lid, heat 1 T each of butter and olive oil. Put the onions, thinly sliced, in the pot and sprinkle in 1/8 t. sugar, 1/4 t. salt, 1/8 t. of freshly ground.  Stir so that all the onions are evenly coated with the oil and the seasonings are distributed.  Cover tightly and cook, without stirring or peeking, for about 45 minutes over the lowest possible heat.  The onions will be soft and have released much of their liquid.  Raise the heat, keep the lid off, and stir the onions frequently until they are a deeply golden color and the mixture begins to resemble a jam.  Add 1 medium garlic clove, minced, and 1/2 t. fresh thyme leaves.  Cook for three more minutes until the garlic is done.  Set aside to cool to room temperature.  (Onion jam recipe from The Bread Bible, by Rose Levy Beranbaum)

Make the burgers.  Include about 1/2 t. of fresh thyme leaves/1 lb. of beef in the grinding process, or mix it in if you have pre-ground meat.  Season and grill as you normally would.  At the very last minute, top the burgers with the Brie to warm it. It's very runny and easy to melt so watch closely

Butter and grill the muffins. The steaming method is not preferable with English muffins. Spread a layer of the onion jam on the bottom muffin, place the cheeseburger, and optionally spread a layer of mayo on the top half of the muffin.  Bon Appetit.

Dinner Party!

An enjoyable occasion or a social gauntlet to be survived?

You may recognize the picture here.  It is from the hilarious movie Bridget Jones' Diary (2001), starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, & Hugh Grant.  Bridget plays a single woman who has been invited to a dinner party of couples.  She laments that the only thing worse than "smug" couples, are lots of smug couples in one room. The clever blogger Christian Landers also takes a shot at the institution of dinner parties on his blog, Stuff White People Like.  I suggest you give a quick read, it's well worth the effort.  

My most recent soiree was to celebrate my wife's 35th birthday as well as the Christmas season; not to mention, I hadn't really thrown a real dinner party in several years.  It's expensive, the prep work is exhausting, but the payoff can be very rewarding when done properly.  When the alcohol flows properly, the appetizers are actually consumed, and the conversation goes well, one is reminded that social occasions can actually be enjoyable.  Who knew?  I'd certainly forgotten.  

Now there is the ambitious home cook (I'm one of them.) who will turn to the back of Bon Appetit magazine and make the suggested dinner listed there.  It is usually multiple courses that take days in advance to prepare and shop for.  Occasionally, I have enjoyed this task.  However, I've learned over the years that most people don't really notice if everything has 20 ingredients in it, or two.  Also, your guests really don't like it all that much if they can't have a drink and chit chat with you because you're busy hovering over a last minute Hollandaise.  (Although, I do love Hollandaise and there is actually a way to prep it ahead of time. Tip: Store it in a thermos and whip with a titch of hot water right before dinner.) In fact, it makes them feel a bit stressed, or possibly even guilty, when you're slaving away while they are trying to relax and enjoy your company.  It's not all about the chef, and it's not, shockingly, all about the food.  

SOME TIPS FOR SUCCESS: 

• Prepare one large centerpiece, such as a roast, large poultry, or whole fish.
• Make several side dishes, such as additional vegetable dishes.  
• Don't plan a menu in which each element has to be served hot at the same time, use cold or room temperature dishes.
• Do plan a menu that can be made mostly ahead of time. 
• Don't break the bank to impress.  It won't impress.  In fact, it may stress your guests.
• Appetizers or cocktail nibbles come from the deli counter-meats, olives, large wedges of cheese, and salted nuts.  
• Dessert can come from the patisserie.  
• Prepare one pre-mixed cocktail or large punch bowl.  

Of course, the menu planning takes a bit of thinking ahead of time.  Pick one centerpiece, such as a roast.  Again, while plating individual entrees can be rewarding, the general idea is to enjoy your guests' company, something that is not necessarily accomplished by arranging micro-greens on a plate in order to recreate the visage of the Virgin Mary.  Another satisfaction of a large roast is the dramatic presentation that it makes table-side.  If you think of old English paintings of table-scapes, its never of individual platings, it's of one large center element.  For this particular occasion I ordered a Southern dry-cured country ham several weeks ahead of time.  It was a generous 14 lbs. with the whole bone-in attached.  Bones almost always make for a more aesthetic presentation.  Note: If you're going to carve table-side, make sure you know what you're doing.  You don't want to be fumbling, swearing, and or destroying an expensive cut of meat in front of your hungry dinner guests.  And have a wicked sharp knife, otherwise the panache and theater of carving is completely obliterated.  

A traditional (American) meal is generally thought of as one each: protein, starch, and vegetable.  The dinner party is not the time to adhere to this triangle.  It will come across as less than festive and generous--which is the opposite effect of what you're trying to achieve.  I generally find that making two vegetable dishes is really a good way to round out the meal.  It also serves the purpose of catering to vegetarians should you have any at the table.  

THE MENU

Cheese, Salami, Olives, and Rosemary Cashews

Christmas Punch

champagne

Country Ham with Major Grey Chutney Glaze

Garlic-Cream Scalloped Potatoes

Orange-Braised Carrots & Parsnips

Lemony Shaved Brussels Sprouts with Pecorino & Almonds

Thyme Popovers

red & white wines

Coconut Layer Cake

coffee

whiskey

more champagne!

more whiskey!

All in all, it went quite well.  I made everything ahead of time, well before any guests arrived.  The only thing I had to do was saute the Brussels sprouts, and pour the popover batter into the pan.  Ham can be served at room temperature so it had been done for hours. The potatoes and carrots had been slow-baked and then set on the back of the stove with the oven on to stay warm.  The Brussels sprouts had been trimmed and dressed with lemon and olive oil so that they just had to be tossed in a hot saute pan before serving, more of a wilted salad that only needed some warming.  Popover batter had been prepped ahead of time.  In fact, popovers work much better when the batter is at room temperature.  

But the punch .  .  . the punch was genius.  I will never set out multiple liquors and mixers again.  (Okay, never say never.) We're all adults.  You drink what is provided.  And it went fantastically, as everyone walked in and hung their coats, I simply ladeled out the chilly, tart, deeply red & festive punch that had been mixed hours ago and chilled out on the porch.  Everyone had a full drink immediately, I wasn't stressed, and everyone raised their full drinks in a festive cheer.  I leave you with the punch recipe, and Salut!

 Christmas Punch

·         (1) .750 ml bottle inexpensive but descent vodka such as Sobieski, Tito’s, etc.

·         (1) .375 ml bottle of Cointreau, Grand Marnier, or Spanish orange brandy such as Torres

·         (1) .750 ml bottle of inexpensive dry sparkling wine such as Freixenet, Any reasonably priced Prosecco, Cava, or domestic sparkling will suffice as long as it’s labeled dry or Brut.

·         4 c. pomegranate juice, suggest R.W. Knudsen Just Pomegranate

·         (1) 32 oz. bottle of R.W. Knudsen brand Just Cranberry juice (Note: There is not a substitute for this style of cranberry juice.  If you use another brand, it will not taste the same.  Knudsen is a very concentrated, tart, and unsweetened cranberry juice. It is available at Whole Foods.)

·         1 c. freshly squeezed lemon juice, Do not used bottled lemon juice; it will detrimentally affect the flavor

·         1 L club soda

·         1 c. simple syrup (2/3 c. water + 2/3 c. sugar, dissolved)

·         1 lb. of fresh cranberries, frozen

·         2 lg. oranges sliced, frozen

Put all ingredients in punch bowl and stir.  Frozen fruit serve as ice cubes and garnish.  This recipe is based off a recipe from Martha Stewart that I doubled and slightly modified.  I had a dinner party for 10 guests a couple nights ago and the punch disappeared at an alarming rate.  I’m pretty sure most of the guests had 2+ rounds in about 20 minutes and it was gone.  Chilling such a massive volume of beverage can be a bit challenging in a refrigerator, especially when you’re entertaining and refrigerators tend to be full.  I simply made this ahead of time and put it out on the porch which worked fantastically.  And danger, this punch is very refreshing and you cannot taste the alcohol.  Sip with holiday cheer, but a bit of caution as well.  

Homemade Sausage

Boredom can have a myriad of effects on people.  Many people choose to read a book or call a friend.  I often will wander through grocery stores.  The thought process goes something like this:

"Hhhhmmmmmm, leftover minestrone and kalamata olive bread for dinner.  I'm sure that before I froze it last time I inevitably picked out all the delicious sausage as a snack.

"I need to get some Italian sausage.

"Arrrggghhhhh, I hate Johnsonville brand! It's tasteless AND has corn syrup in it.  And it's 5.99/lb.

"Hhhmmmmm, pork shoulder is 1.99/lb and I would know exactly what's going into my fantastic sausages.  Yeahhhh! I get to taste fennel again!

"Hhhmmmmm, I mos def do not want to drive all the way over to a specialty meat market for casings, especially since they carry sausage I like anyway and could just buy it.

"Wait a minute, true I am at a crappy Mexican grocery store but I've noticed that the butcher counter here makes their own Chorizo. Now I have something to do for the afternoon."

Yes, that is the thought process that led me to making sausage.  And yes, I happen to own a meat grinder and the sausage stuffing attachment to the Kitchen Aid which I'd previously never used.  (The sausage stuffer, not the grinder.  I use the grinder every time I make hamburgers.)  And yes, I also happen to always have paprika, cayenne, crushed red pepper, fennel & anise seeds, and Italian herbs. Always. I procured a 4 lb. pork shoulder, one full length of casings and I was on my way.

Here's the recipe I used:  http://tinyurl.com/6zdcpcq

It was indeed fantastic and worth the labor.  I was too lazy to go back to the store, but I left out the red wine and parsley and it was still really, really good.  Give it a try next time you're bored and have already read the New Yorker for the week.  I think some homemade lamb and blueberry breakfast sausages are in my near future.

Brussels sprouts . . . so hot right now.

Oh how I despise myself for being hyper-aware of foodie trends and such.  Alas the newest culinary fad is the Brussels sprouts.  A few years ago, Americans started eating bacon again after a long history of eating bacon and then not eating bacon, and then eating a lot of bacon ala Atkins, to throttling back on the bacon a bit, to hopefully now eating bacon moderately, but actually still using way too much bacon in everything including on top of salted caramel donuts, cupcakes, candy, cake, etc. And I digress.  But what I meant to say was, Americans stopped steaming the Brussels sprouts and started preparing them in the traditional French style with lardons--French term for bacon cut into rectangular blocks. Generally this is accomplished by halving the Brussels sprouts, cubing the bacon, tossing with olive oil, salt, & pepper and throwing them into a hot oven on a cookie sheet until everything is marvelously crispy with browned edges.

But today instead, I dive into the simmering trend of raw Brussels sprout salads that I've been seeing lately.  You'll need one special piece of equipment for this salad--a Benriner mandolin for shaving vegetables.  Don't buy one of those massive expensive stainless steel ones from the kitchen store. Try to pick up one at an Asian grocery store where it should be $20 and you'll use it for a myriad of purposes.  And don't say I didn't warn you; you will inevitably lob off some fingertips getting used to the darned contraption.

RAW BRUSSELS SPROUT SALAD W/ WALNUT OIL VINAIGRETTE

• Brussels sprouts
• Honeycrisp apple
• Bacon
• Shallots
• Pecans
• Golden Raisins

WALNUT OIL VINAIGRETTE

• 2/3 c. Roasted Walnut Oil
• 1/3 c. red or white wine vinegar
• 1 T. Dijon mustard
• 1 t. each of salt, pepper, & Herbs de Provence

Saute the bacon and shallots together until the bacon is crisp and the shallots are softened.  Remove from heat.  Shave the Brussels sprouts and Honeycrisp apples into a large bowl.  Add the bacon, shallots, golden raisins and vinaigrette to taste.  Don't add so much dressing that there is a pool of vinaigrette at the bottom of the bowl.  Taste for seasoning and add vinegar and/or salt to taste.  Just before serving, crumble pecans over the top of the salad.  Serve with bread for a lunch or along side seared salmon for dinner.  Bon Appetit.  (Sorry, you know that I almost never specify exact amounts so you're going to have to wing it depending on how many people or how hungry they are. However, just a little hint, the salad should be 75% Brussels sprouts.) Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that some crumbled blue cheese on top might be pretty delicious as well.  

Your Grocery Store Is Ripping You Off

I had a wise African-American colleague named Wendell.  He said to me, "You know whitey getting ready to move into a neighborhood when they get their Starbuck's and an expensive grocery store.  Why do [white people] spend so much money on food?"  Good question.

I'll admit it.  I spend way too much money on food.  Now, it should be mentioned at this point that American's, by far, spend a much smaller percentage on their food than any other country in the world.  This is primarily due to industrialized agriculture and government subsidies of specific crop products.  Christian Lander's actually said that Whole Foods is like church for white people.  It's where you will definitely find a whole bunch of Caucasians on Sunday, after they've had brunch at a local cafe that serves local, artisanal, sustainable, organic cuisine and fair-trade coffee.  Brunch of course being the greatest excuse ever for day drinking.  If that doesn't make you happy enough, the grocery store I go to actually has two bars in it.  Two! One for wine and one for beer.  Happy shopping!

This is where we've been deceived.  Prior to World War II, grocery stores were not omnipresent.  Generally shopping involved going to the butcher, the dry goods, and the green grocer at the very least.  It was tedious to stop at several venues.  The supermarket changed all of that.  Now, everything is in one location with a huge parking lot and gas was cheap.  Fast forward to modern day and the standard grocery store also has a pharmacy in it too.  Now you can get sick eating the standard American diet and get your drugs to counteract the effects in the same place.  Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.  But here's the problem, now that all of the products have been put under one roof, the prices of all these products are factored in together to maintain profit for one merchant.  That means that the grocer can create "loss leaders" to generate traffic.  That is he might put ribeye steaks on sale, so cheap in fact that the store might only be breaking even or losing money on the meat. (Which, ironically, is already artificially cheapened by government subsidies of corn crops.) However, strolling through the produce aisle lemons are $1 each and a tiny bunch of basil is $2.99.  No wonder the standard American is fat.  The grocer doesn't care that he maintains little to no profit on steak, he's taking you to the bank to on fresh fruits and vegetables.  America is the only industrialized country where food has an inverse relationship to price.  That is, the higher the concentration of calories in a product, the cheaper it generally is if you examine it as a calorie/cost ratio.  (Again, directly related to agricultural subsidies.)

Enough of that, I actually am typing this to share with you my produce haul this morning.  Yes, I go to Whole Foods, but I don't buy my produce there.  It's way too expensive.  Instead, I journey to the magical land of Stanley's, an honest to god produce store that's so cool it doesn't even have a website.  Now, this isn't a normal haul.  I'm on a juicing and vegan cleanse this week so it's a bit abnormal for me to buy this much stuff.  And on another point, I never go with a shopping list.  I go and only buy what's on sale.  That generally means no expensive asparagus or brussel sprouts for me when they're out of season.  Stanley's has them but I don't buy them until they're dirt cheap.  This is another great way to save money.  Don't use a shopping list. Just buy what's on sale and build your meals around that.  (Granted, you have to be a pretty good cook to pull that off.  Which thankfully, I am.) Even better is now that it's winter, you can really stock up on a lot of hard winter vegetables that don't require refrigeration and just stock 'em up in your cupboards-squash, parsnips, turnips, sweet potatoes-you get the idea.

Here's my take:

• 2.24 lbs. lemons, 2.20
• 7.5 lbs. Honeycrisp apples, 13.41
• 4 bunches of organic kale, $1.98/each
• 1.1 lb. broccoli, .98
• basil, .98
• 4 lbs. carrots, 1.93
• 6 lbs. cucumbers, 5.59
• 3 lbs. cauliflower, 1.41
• 2 large avocados, 1.49/each
• 5 lbs. Granny Smith apples, 2.75
• celery, 1.35
• 2 eggplants, .74
• spaghetti squash, 1.59
• 2 lbs. sweet potatoes, 1.37
• 2 lbs. brussel sprouts, 3.26
• 1 lb. snow peas, 3.25 (ouch, a bit pricey on that item)
• 2 pints of grape tomatoes, .98
• 2 pints of blackberries 1.96 (steal!)
• 8 lbs. of yellow and orange peppers, wait for it, wait for it .  .  . 1.61! That's right, .20/lb. on an item that is generally $2/each in a normal grocery store.  

A huge amount of this is going to be juiced but let's take some time to examine a few of the items that a bought a bunch of.  I got 7.5 lbs. of Honeycrisp because they were down to $1.79 lb.  That's awesome.  Honeycrisp are generally about $3/lb.  And apples keep well, think about it, growers and distributors store them and sell them to you next spring but charge a boatload.  Eat them while they're fresh and cheap.  All the squash, potatoes, onions, etc. are going to stay good for weeks.  And why did I buy 8 lbs. of peppers?  Because they were .20/lb.  They're going to be roasted and packed in olive oil.  Next time you're at the deli or in the Italian section and you're paying $5 for a tiny jar of roasted peppers, remember this.  A couple months ago I bought an entire CASE of strawberries for $1 that were just on the verge of going bad and I made 10 pints of awesome strawberry jam.  How much does jam normally cost by the jar? And it doesn't taste nearly as good as homemade, not even close.  

See that picture at the top of this post?  That's how much produce I hauled in for $61.  If you consider that that's what my wife and I will eat all week, that's pretty cheap. The moral of the story is, search out your community for your local produce store.  If you can't find one, I challenge you to journey to the Latin or Asian grocery stores where you're going to find similar prices, albeit a more limited selection.  Don't fall for the standard trap.  Beat the system and stop being fleeced by your grocer for eating more vegetables and fruit.  To your health.  Cheers.