Dinner Party!

An enjoyable occasion or a social gauntlet to be survived?

You may recognize the picture here.  It is from the hilarious movie Bridget Jones' Diary (2001), starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, & Hugh Grant.  Bridget plays a single woman who has been invited to a dinner party of couples.  She laments that the only thing worse than "smug" couples, are lots of smug couples in one room. The clever blogger Christian Landers also takes a shot at the institution of dinner parties on his blog, Stuff White People Like.  I suggest you give a quick read, it's well worth the effort.  

My most recent soiree was to celebrate my wife's 35th birthday as well as the Christmas season; not to mention, I hadn't really thrown a real dinner party in several years.  It's expensive, the prep work is exhausting, but the payoff can be very rewarding when done properly.  When the alcohol flows properly, the appetizers are actually consumed, and the conversation goes well, one is reminded that social occasions can actually be enjoyable.  Who knew?  I'd certainly forgotten.  

Now there is the ambitious home cook (I'm one of them.) who will turn to the back of Bon Appetit magazine and make the suggested dinner listed there.  It is usually multiple courses that take days in advance to prepare and shop for.  Occasionally, I have enjoyed this task.  However, I've learned over the years that most people don't really notice if everything has 20 ingredients in it, or two.  Also, your guests really don't like it all that much if they can't have a drink and chit chat with you because you're busy hovering over a last minute Hollandaise.  (Although, I do love Hollandaise and there is actually a way to prep it ahead of time. Tip: Store it in a thermos and whip with a titch of hot water right before dinner.) In fact, it makes them feel a bit stressed, or possibly even guilty, when you're slaving away while they are trying to relax and enjoy your company.  It's not all about the chef, and it's not, shockingly, all about the food.  

SOME TIPS FOR SUCCESS: 

• Prepare one large centerpiece, such as a roast, large poultry, or whole fish.
• Make several side dishes, such as additional vegetable dishes.  
• Don't plan a menu in which each element has to be served hot at the same time, use cold or room temperature dishes.
• Do plan a menu that can be made mostly ahead of time. 
• Don't break the bank to impress.  It won't impress.  In fact, it may stress your guests.
• Appetizers or cocktail nibbles come from the deli counter-meats, olives, large wedges of cheese, and salted nuts.  
• Dessert can come from the patisserie.  
• Prepare one pre-mixed cocktail or large punch bowl.  

Of course, the menu planning takes a bit of thinking ahead of time.  Pick one centerpiece, such as a roast.  Again, while plating individual entrees can be rewarding, the general idea is to enjoy your guests' company, something that is not necessarily accomplished by arranging micro-greens on a plate in order to recreate the visage of the Virgin Mary.  Another satisfaction of a large roast is the dramatic presentation that it makes table-side.  If you think of old English paintings of table-scapes, its never of individual platings, it's of one large center element.  For this particular occasion I ordered a Southern dry-cured country ham several weeks ahead of time.  It was a generous 14 lbs. with the whole bone-in attached.  Bones almost always make for a more aesthetic presentation.  Note: If you're going to carve table-side, make sure you know what you're doing.  You don't want to be fumbling, swearing, and or destroying an expensive cut of meat in front of your hungry dinner guests.  And have a wicked sharp knife, otherwise the panache and theater of carving is completely obliterated.  

A traditional (American) meal is generally thought of as one each: protein, starch, and vegetable.  The dinner party is not the time to adhere to this triangle.  It will come across as less than festive and generous--which is the opposite effect of what you're trying to achieve.  I generally find that making two vegetable dishes is really a good way to round out the meal.  It also serves the purpose of catering to vegetarians should you have any at the table.  

THE MENU

Cheese, Salami, Olives, and Rosemary Cashews

Christmas Punch

champagne

Country Ham with Major Grey Chutney Glaze

Garlic-Cream Scalloped Potatoes

Orange-Braised Carrots & Parsnips

Lemony Shaved Brussels Sprouts with Pecorino & Almonds

Thyme Popovers

red & white wines

Coconut Layer Cake

coffee

whiskey

more champagne!

more whiskey!

All in all, it went quite well.  I made everything ahead of time, well before any guests arrived.  The only thing I had to do was saute the Brussels sprouts, and pour the popover batter into the pan.  Ham can be served at room temperature so it had been done for hours. The potatoes and carrots had been slow-baked and then set on the back of the stove with the oven on to stay warm.  The Brussels sprouts had been trimmed and dressed with lemon and olive oil so that they just had to be tossed in a hot saute pan before serving, more of a wilted salad that only needed some warming.  Popover batter had been prepped ahead of time.  In fact, popovers work much better when the batter is at room temperature.  

But the punch .  .  . the punch was genius.  I will never set out multiple liquors and mixers again.  (Okay, never say never.) We're all adults.  You drink what is provided.  And it went fantastically, as everyone walked in and hung their coats, I simply ladeled out the chilly, tart, deeply red & festive punch that had been mixed hours ago and chilled out on the porch.  Everyone had a full drink immediately, I wasn't stressed, and everyone raised their full drinks in a festive cheer.  I leave you with the punch recipe, and Salut!

 Christmas Punch

·         (1) .750 ml bottle inexpensive but descent vodka such as Sobieski, Tito’s, etc.

·         (1) .375 ml bottle of Cointreau, Grand Marnier, or Spanish orange brandy such as Torres

·         (1) .750 ml bottle of inexpensive dry sparkling wine such as Freixenet, Any reasonably priced Prosecco, Cava, or domestic sparkling will suffice as long as it’s labeled dry or Brut.

·         4 c. pomegranate juice, suggest R.W. Knudsen Just Pomegranate

·         (1) 32 oz. bottle of R.W. Knudsen brand Just Cranberry juice (Note: There is not a substitute for this style of cranberry juice.  If you use another brand, it will not taste the same.  Knudsen is a very concentrated, tart, and unsweetened cranberry juice. It is available at Whole Foods.)

·         1 c. freshly squeezed lemon juice, Do not used bottled lemon juice; it will detrimentally affect the flavor

·         1 L club soda

·         1 c. simple syrup (2/3 c. water + 2/3 c. sugar, dissolved)

·         1 lb. of fresh cranberries, frozen

·         2 lg. oranges sliced, frozen

Put all ingredients in punch bowl and stir.  Frozen fruit serve as ice cubes and garnish.  This recipe is based off a recipe from Martha Stewart that I doubled and slightly modified.  I had a dinner party for 10 guests a couple nights ago and the punch disappeared at an alarming rate.  I’m pretty sure most of the guests had 2+ rounds in about 20 minutes and it was gone.  Chilling such a massive volume of beverage can be a bit challenging in a refrigerator, especially when you’re entertaining and refrigerators tend to be full.  I simply made this ahead of time and put it out on the porch which worked fantastically.  And danger, this punch is very refreshing and you cannot taste the alcohol.  Sip with holiday cheer, but a bit of caution as well.  

Homemade Sausage

Boredom can have a myriad of effects on people.  Many people choose to read a book or call a friend.  I often will wander through grocery stores.  The thought process goes something like this:

"Hhhhmmmmmm, leftover minestrone and kalamata olive bread for dinner.  I'm sure that before I froze it last time I inevitably picked out all the delicious sausage as a snack.

"I need to get some Italian sausage.

"Arrrggghhhhh, I hate Johnsonville brand! It's tasteless AND has corn syrup in it.  And it's 5.99/lb.

"Hhhmmmmm, pork shoulder is 1.99/lb and I would know exactly what's going into my fantastic sausages.  Yeahhhh! I get to taste fennel again!

"Hhhmmmmm, I mos def do not want to drive all the way over to a specialty meat market for casings, especially since they carry sausage I like anyway and could just buy it.

"Wait a minute, true I am at a crappy Mexican grocery store but I've noticed that the butcher counter here makes their own Chorizo. Now I have something to do for the afternoon."

Yes, that is the thought process that led me to making sausage.  And yes, I happen to own a meat grinder and the sausage stuffing attachment to the Kitchen Aid which I'd previously never used.  (The sausage stuffer, not the grinder.  I use the grinder every time I make hamburgers.)  And yes, I also happen to always have paprika, cayenne, crushed red pepper, fennel & anise seeds, and Italian herbs. Always. I procured a 4 lb. pork shoulder, one full length of casings and I was on my way.

Here's the recipe I used:  http://tinyurl.com/6zdcpcq

It was indeed fantastic and worth the labor.  I was too lazy to go back to the store, but I left out the red wine and parsley and it was still really, really good.  Give it a try next time you're bored and have already read the New Yorker for the week.  I think some homemade lamb and blueberry breakfast sausages are in my near future.

Brussels sprouts . . . so hot right now.

Oh how I despise myself for being hyper-aware of foodie trends and such.  Alas the newest culinary fad is the Brussels sprouts.  A few years ago, Americans started eating bacon again after a long history of eating bacon and then not eating bacon, and then eating a lot of bacon ala Atkins, to throttling back on the bacon a bit, to hopefully now eating bacon moderately, but actually still using way too much bacon in everything including on top of salted caramel donuts, cupcakes, candy, cake, etc. And I digress.  But what I meant to say was, Americans stopped steaming the Brussels sprouts and started preparing them in the traditional French style with lardons--French term for bacon cut into rectangular blocks. Generally this is accomplished by halving the Brussels sprouts, cubing the bacon, tossing with olive oil, salt, & pepper and throwing them into a hot oven on a cookie sheet until everything is marvelously crispy with browned edges.

But today instead, I dive into the simmering trend of raw Brussels sprout salads that I've been seeing lately.  You'll need one special piece of equipment for this salad--a Benriner mandolin for shaving vegetables.  Don't buy one of those massive expensive stainless steel ones from the kitchen store. Try to pick up one at an Asian grocery store where it should be $20 and you'll use it for a myriad of purposes.  And don't say I didn't warn you; you will inevitably lob off some fingertips getting used to the darned contraption.

RAW BRUSSELS SPROUT SALAD W/ WALNUT OIL VINAIGRETTE

• Brussels sprouts
• Honeycrisp apple
• Bacon
• Shallots
• Pecans
• Golden Raisins

WALNUT OIL VINAIGRETTE

• 2/3 c. Roasted Walnut Oil
• 1/3 c. red or white wine vinegar
• 1 T. Dijon mustard
• 1 t. each of salt, pepper, & Herbs de Provence

Saute the bacon and shallots together until the bacon is crisp and the shallots are softened.  Remove from heat.  Shave the Brussels sprouts and Honeycrisp apples into a large bowl.  Add the bacon, shallots, golden raisins and vinaigrette to taste.  Don't add so much dressing that there is a pool of vinaigrette at the bottom of the bowl.  Taste for seasoning and add vinegar and/or salt to taste.  Just before serving, crumble pecans over the top of the salad.  Serve with bread for a lunch or along side seared salmon for dinner.  Bon Appetit.  (Sorry, you know that I almost never specify exact amounts so you're going to have to wing it depending on how many people or how hungry they are. However, just a little hint, the salad should be 75% Brussels sprouts.) Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that some crumbled blue cheese on top might be pretty delicious as well.  

Your Grocery Store Is Ripping You Off

I had a wise African-American colleague named Wendell.  He said to me, "You know whitey getting ready to move into a neighborhood when they get their Starbuck's and an expensive grocery store.  Why do [white people] spend so much money on food?"  Good question.

I'll admit it.  I spend way too much money on food.  Now, it should be mentioned at this point that American's, by far, spend a much smaller percentage on their food than any other country in the world.  This is primarily due to industrialized agriculture and government subsidies of specific crop products.  Christian Lander's actually said that Whole Foods is like church for white people.  It's where you will definitely find a whole bunch of Caucasians on Sunday, after they've had brunch at a local cafe that serves local, artisanal, sustainable, organic cuisine and fair-trade coffee.  Brunch of course being the greatest excuse ever for day drinking.  If that doesn't make you happy enough, the grocery store I go to actually has two bars in it.  Two! One for wine and one for beer.  Happy shopping!

This is where we've been deceived.  Prior to World War II, grocery stores were not omnipresent.  Generally shopping involved going to the butcher, the dry goods, and the green grocer at the very least.  It was tedious to stop at several venues.  The supermarket changed all of that.  Now, everything is in one location with a huge parking lot and gas was cheap.  Fast forward to modern day and the standard grocery store also has a pharmacy in it too.  Now you can get sick eating the standard American diet and get your drugs to counteract the effects in the same place.  Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.  But here's the problem, now that all of the products have been put under one roof, the prices of all these products are factored in together to maintain profit for one merchant.  That means that the grocer can create "loss leaders" to generate traffic.  That is he might put ribeye steaks on sale, so cheap in fact that the store might only be breaking even or losing money on the meat. (Which, ironically, is already artificially cheapened by government subsidies of corn crops.) However, strolling through the produce aisle lemons are $1 each and a tiny bunch of basil is $2.99.  No wonder the standard American is fat.  The grocer doesn't care that he maintains little to no profit on steak, he's taking you to the bank to on fresh fruits and vegetables.  America is the only industrialized country where food has an inverse relationship to price.  That is, the higher the concentration of calories in a product, the cheaper it generally is if you examine it as a calorie/cost ratio.  (Again, directly related to agricultural subsidies.)

Enough of that, I actually am typing this to share with you my produce haul this morning.  Yes, I go to Whole Foods, but I don't buy my produce there.  It's way too expensive.  Instead, I journey to the magical land of Stanley's, an honest to god produce store that's so cool it doesn't even have a website.  Now, this isn't a normal haul.  I'm on a juicing and vegan cleanse this week so it's a bit abnormal for me to buy this much stuff.  And on another point, I never go with a shopping list.  I go and only buy what's on sale.  That generally means no expensive asparagus or brussel sprouts for me when they're out of season.  Stanley's has them but I don't buy them until they're dirt cheap.  This is another great way to save money.  Don't use a shopping list. Just buy what's on sale and build your meals around that.  (Granted, you have to be a pretty good cook to pull that off.  Which thankfully, I am.) Even better is now that it's winter, you can really stock up on a lot of hard winter vegetables that don't require refrigeration and just stock 'em up in your cupboards-squash, parsnips, turnips, sweet potatoes-you get the idea.

Here's my take:

• 2.24 lbs. lemons, 2.20
• 7.5 lbs. Honeycrisp apples, 13.41
• 4 bunches of organic kale, $1.98/each
• 1.1 lb. broccoli, .98
• basil, .98
• 4 lbs. carrots, 1.93
• 6 lbs. cucumbers, 5.59
• 3 lbs. cauliflower, 1.41
• 2 large avocados, 1.49/each
• 5 lbs. Granny Smith apples, 2.75
• celery, 1.35
• 2 eggplants, .74
• spaghetti squash, 1.59
• 2 lbs. sweet potatoes, 1.37
• 2 lbs. brussel sprouts, 3.26
• 1 lb. snow peas, 3.25 (ouch, a bit pricey on that item)
• 2 pints of grape tomatoes, .98
• 2 pints of blackberries 1.96 (steal!)
• 8 lbs. of yellow and orange peppers, wait for it, wait for it .  .  . 1.61! That's right, .20/lb. on an item that is generally $2/each in a normal grocery store.  

A huge amount of this is going to be juiced but let's take some time to examine a few of the items that a bought a bunch of.  I got 7.5 lbs. of Honeycrisp because they were down to $1.79 lb.  That's awesome.  Honeycrisp are generally about $3/lb.  And apples keep well, think about it, growers and distributors store them and sell them to you next spring but charge a boatload.  Eat them while they're fresh and cheap.  All the squash, potatoes, onions, etc. are going to stay good for weeks.  And why did I buy 8 lbs. of peppers?  Because they were .20/lb.  They're going to be roasted and packed in olive oil.  Next time you're at the deli or in the Italian section and you're paying $5 for a tiny jar of roasted peppers, remember this.  A couple months ago I bought an entire CASE of strawberries for $1 that were just on the verge of going bad and I made 10 pints of awesome strawberry jam.  How much does jam normally cost by the jar? And it doesn't taste nearly as good as homemade, not even close.  

See that picture at the top of this post?  That's how much produce I hauled in for $61.  If you consider that that's what my wife and I will eat all week, that's pretty cheap. The moral of the story is, search out your community for your local produce store.  If you can't find one, I challenge you to journey to the Latin or Asian grocery stores where you're going to find similar prices, albeit a more limited selection.  Don't fall for the standard trap.  Beat the system and stop being fleeced by your grocer for eating more vegetables and fruit.  To your health.  Cheers.  

Sangria

 

Far be it from me to disparage beer, the holy institution that it is, except that it can get a bit .  .  . heavy.  Don't get me wrong, I just returned from a family gathering where I brought a mini-keg of Bell's Oberon--the perfect summer beer.  (FYI, the perfect beer for the rest of the year is Bell's Two-Hearted.)  Also, beer goes very well with classic picnic foods such as hamburgers, sausages, cheese, and such.   However, it can be limited.  One doesn't generally pair beer with say, a NY Strip and grilled asparagus.  Though if you wanted to, it could definitely be a very sour ale, very many of which are almost more wine-like than beer.  A very good example of this is Jolly Pumpking Artisan Ales 'La Roja'. I'm very pleased that many of these sour Flemmish ales are making into stores and places like my local haunt, Longman & Eagle.  ('La Roja' is not at L&E but there are sour ale selections available from other competent breweries.)

Enter the forgotten summer beverage option: Sangria.  Generally my summers are soaked in New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and rosé wines.  But then, you want to mix it up but not necessarily with hard liquor or beer.  Sangria is the answer.  Sangria is generally wine, brandy, sweetener, fruit, and sometimes carbonated water is added just before serving.  This is all up to the discretion of your taste, what is available at the market, and what alcohol content is desired. 

Making sangria should be more of an organic experience, than following a recipe.  Any of you who have read my blog are well aware that I despise recipes, I believe they hamper creativity and discovery of new possibilities.  Start at the wine shop.  Wander the aisles and see what's on sale.  What wines do you normally like?  The quality of wine is a balancing act.  It absolutely has to be something that you would drink straight out of the bottle. However, it certainly shouldn't be expensive.  No one needs to be pouring fruit or brandy into say, a bottle of Domaine Serene Evansted Reserve. However, this is not necessarily the time to be dowgrading to Woodbridge.  You can use any type of wine: red, white, rosé, or sparkling.  You can also use a mix of different types of wine to adjust to your taste. 

Before you leave the liquor store pick up a bottle of brandy.  (Just a quick review on brandy.  Brandy is a distilled spirit made from grapes regardless of where it's produced. Cognac is brandy from the region of Cognac, France. By the way, next time you're ordering an after dinner drink and want Cognac, ask if they have Armagnac. It's generally cheaper and just as good.) Again, this is not the time to go top shelf, but it should be table quality--something that you would sip straight.  You could use some Louis XIII if you're a shipping mogul.  In the event you're not a financial titan, search for a good Spanish table brandy.  Just something decent. In the event you're in a liquor store with limited selections, Christian Brothers is very affordable and decent.  Oh, and grab a bottle of seltzer or club soda on the way out if you're thinking you'd like something lighter.

Off to the produce store.  It's much more important to pick fruits that are on sale or in season, that specific fruits that a recipe calls for.  Besides, on sale and in season generally go hand in hand.  Citrus fruits are generally a standard base no matter what type of wine is being used, lemons, limes, and oranges.  More exotic citrus would also be acceptable:  kumquats, meyer lemons, key limes, blood oranges, Buddha's Hand .  .  . think outside the box.  Now you could just go with a shotgun approach and just throw in whatever fruit looks good that day, or you can try to do a theme.  Think of a red sangria with different types of berries.  How about a rosé sangria with stone fruits such as apricots, peaches, cherries, and nectarines.  White sangria with green apples, Anjou pears, and green grapes?  Sparkling sangria with blueberries, strips of lemon zest, and mint? 

Now you're home.  Cube or slice all the fruit you need.  Make a batch of simple syrup.  (For the neophyte: That's one part water to one part sugar that has been heated to dissolve the sugar and cooled.)   The morning of or the day before mix the fruit, wine, and brandy.  The sangria needs time for the flavors of the fruit and alcohol to meld, so preferably the day before. 

To serve add brandy, simple syrup, ice, and carbonated water if you're using it.  I'd generally add a cup of brandy to a sangria base that had been made from two bottles of wine.  Then add the syrup and seltzer.  Taste your sangria and add the sweetener sparingly.  This will all depend on the flavors, the ripeness of the fruit, and the amount of brandy and/or seltzer that is being used.  Sometimes, I don't even add any syrup. You can serve it over goblets with ice in the pitcher or in the glasses.  You can also serve it in a punch bowl.  Keep it cool with a large ice cube made out of a water baloon. Of course, remove the latex from the ice cube before floating it in the bowl. 

Enjoy your sangria and feel free to leave any questions in the comments section. 

A Tale of Two Shrimp

I have always been frustrated by the relative bland flavor of shrimp cocktail.  Even more bothersome is that there is that the tail has always been left on for presentation or as a so called means of holding onto the shrimp.  Where is the shrimp going anyway?  Is it going to jettison away from one's grip while you are distracted with your martini?  Then I'm left holding a shrimp tail that has to be disposed of.  When I make shrimp cocktail, I remove the tail.  No one has ever complained.  And if you want to be crazy like a sushi chef, you can actually shell the shrimp gently until you get to the tail then, ever so gently, wiggle the tail shells away and you will be left with the inner tail which can be eaten.  Now that's presentation.

One of my favorite ways to eat shrimp is how it is served at local Japanese restaurant. There they serve the main body of the shrimp raw on sushi rice.  It is accompanied by the disembodied head which has been every so lightly encrusted with Panko, fried, and is served with a sweet, vinegar dipping sauce.  Yummy.  But, that is far too involved for today's conversation.  (And yes, I said 'disembodied' on purpose even though I realize its redundant to the context.)

Another way I love to eat shrimp is in a scampi.  Basically, this is just shrimp that has been broiled in a large amount of butter, garlic, lemon juice, and perhaps a few cherry tomatoes.  Generally it is served over some angel hair and garnished with parsley.  A delicious summer meal.  But why must shrimp cocktail and shrimp scampi be divorced so?  I have decided no more, my friends.  Please enjoy my recipe for Scampi Cocktail, and enjoy two great shrimp dishes in one appetizer! They key to this dish is that the shrimp are served warm!

Scampi Cocktail

• U14 prawns or larger
• butter
• olive oil
• freshly chopped garlic
• lemon juice and wedges for garnish
• ketchup
• chili sauce
• prepared horseradish
• parsley for garnish
• S&P

Shell and clean the shrimp fully.  Butterfly the top of the shrimp and removed the GI tract.  That's the dark line that people often trick themselves into believing is a blood vessel.  It's not.  

In a saute pan, gently saute butter, olive oil and chopped garlic until you can just smell the garlic.  Don't burn the garlic! Add the prawns, season with S&P, and saute for several minutes on one side, flip the prawns and saute for a couple more minutes, taking care that you're not burning the garlic.  Alternatively, you could also broil this dish as well.  If broiling, a little panko bread crumbs on top would be wonderful.  With either preparation, finish with a generous squeeze of lemon juice.  

Gently pour all the shrimp, butter, oil, and garlic into a serving dish or platter and garnish with chopped parsley and lemon wedges. Serve hot to room temperature with a cocktail sauce.

*To make the cocktail sauce simply mix equal parts of ketchup and chili sauce and season to taste with prepared horseradish.  Place another dollop of horseradish on the cocktail sauce for presentation and so that guests can increase the spiciness at will.  Enjoy!  

The Trifecta

Friends and family are constantly asking me questions about food preparations and recipes. I tell my wife that I'm going to have business cards printed up.  On them, it's going to say, "olive oil, salt, & pepper".  It's going to allow me to remain even more moody and standoffish than I already am.  I'm going to do this because it is the most common answer that I give to this question, "How did you make this?  It tastes so good."  I know.  People often look very disappointed that the response isn't something more like, "I poached this sous vide in a veal stock scented with Chinese Five-Spice and tears from unicorns."  It also usually involved these three ingredients and roasting on an embattled cookie sheet in the oven at about 425.  Almost anything can be elevated when cooked like this.  

That celebrity hack, Rocco DiSpirito, actually once said something very valuable when he was cooking for Martha Stewart, "Really salt it.  That's why food tastes so good in restaurants."  It's true and he was right.  (You can go overboard, unless it's chicken skin or popcorn and then it's nearly impossible.)  But, I digress.  I've also been very happy to see nutritionists and chefs explain something else to the public, 90% of sodium is probably coming from processed and pre-packaged foods, not the foods you make yourself at home.  The salt that you add at home does not constitute the majority of an unhealthy sodium intake.  So, salt with moderation but err on the side of delicious.  Let's review these three ingredients and their various facets.  

SALT:

Alton Brown recently jibed a contestant on a Food Network show, asking a sweaty and stressed contestant, "What salt is sea salt?"  She didn't have a reply.  He was asking kind of a smug question; all salt is sea salt in that all salt deposits were formed by the seas of the Earth whether or not that means modern or paleolithic.  The modern understanding has morphed into WHERE was the salt harvested from:  a salt mine or the modern sea? My mother recently called me and asked me what's up with all these new "fancy" salts.  (I hate the word "fancy".)  

I grew up, like many of you, eating your standard iodized table salt.  I think we all survived.  However, most chefs cook with Kosher salt.  The modern American is eating fish at least once a week, yes?  This virtually negates the need for an iodine supplement in our table salt.  What's wrong with iodized table salt?  Well nothing, per se.  However it does two distinct disadvantages:  1) The fine particulate nature of iodized table salt is harder to control when cooking.  This makes it easier to accidentally add to much salt to a recipe and it also makes it harder for the cook to see and feel the salt distribution in a dish. This also comes into play when you are using a recipe off the internet.  The person who wrote the recipe has almost always gauged the recipe to Kosher salt and that's a problem when ONE teaspoon of table salt is roughly equivalent to TWO teaspoons of Kosher salt. After anyone adapts to the nature of Kosher salt, they will find it much easier to gauge and distribute salt in any dish.  2)  Some say that the iodine produces a slightly metallic taste and I agree.  

Keep your Kosher salt in a small dish or ramekin near the stove and on the table.  You will find it is much easier to access and use than salt that is in a shaker.  If you have children you might want to avoid putting the dish on the table.  Also, and my sister once teased me for this, learn to salt your food from much higher up.  Elevate your hand at least 12"-24" above the food.  My sister thought this was so that I would look "fancy". Thomas Keller points out the practical reason for this, when many people salt their food, they concentrate the salt into a small area.  However, if you raise your hand up further, the salt distributes as it falls through the air and evenly and efficiently salts the surface of the food, avoiding concentrated applications in some areas without any salt in others.  Yes, it matters.  

And finally, what's up with those "fancy" finishing salts that my mother called me on the phone about.  They are not fancy.  They are salts that have been used by the rest of the world for hundreds, even thousands of years and we're just slow on the uptake here in America.  These are not salts that you use prior to cooking or prepping foods.  In most cases you do not want to apply finishing salts until just before serving.  The idea of finishing salts is to end up with an actual crunch of grains of salt highlighting the dish.  They can actually be a very effective way to use LESS salt because you can really skim on the amount of previously incorporated or dissolved salt and just rely on the bright pop of undissolved salt as a garnish on a dish. 

Common finishing salts include Fleur de Sel, Sel Gris, Maldon flakey sea salt, and/or pink Himalayan sea salt.  I find Fleur de Sel most enjoyable.  It is a French sea salt that is harvested from marine marshes.  Experiment with it on the tops of salads or spreads and dips.  It is generally the more expensive of finishing salts. Sel Gris is co-harvested with Fleur de Sel but instead of it being the fine sheet of premium salt that is raked off the top of the salt water, it is the "dregs" or crystals that are in the bottom of the salt ponds.  Sel Gris is also very good, and more cost effective, but you have to have a special "wet" sea-salt grinder that will not corrode from being in constant contact with a salt that is actually still slightly wet even in your pantry. ("Wet" sea salt grinders have internal parts comprised entirely of plastic.  Yes, I have one, a Peugeot I believe. I recommend William & Bounds for a pepper grinder.  More on that later.)   

And finally, some of you are wondering:  Doesn't salt taste like salt?  No.  Just like we mentioned earlier, iodine can have a negative effect on the taste of table salt.  However, other components can have a positive effect.  Those of you who are addicted to Dasani bottled water will understand this.  And just for the record, I am against bottled water due to its detrimental effect on the environment, but every once in awhile I just need a liter of cold water when I'm at Walgreen's.  Don't judge.  Dasani adds magnesium to their bottled water which gives it a crisp and refreshing taste which we interpret as, "Water that tastes good".  However, it is actually filtered water providing a blank canvas to the effect that magnesium has.  This is the same with salts like Fleur de Sel & Sel Gris; they have other naturally occurring "extras" that enhance the way we perceive the salt on our tongues.  

Thomas Keller says that learning to salt properly is an art and the foundation of good cooking.  I still witness, very few unprofessional cooks who know how to salt properly.  Salt, thoughtfully. Wow, that's just salt.  On to black pepper!  

BLACK PEPPER

Thankfully, this section won't be so long.  Stop using pre-ground black pepper.  Stop it.  Nope.  No.  Absolutely not.  The difference between pre-ground black pepper and freshly ground is unmistakable.  I couldn't believe I had been deceived for so long before switching.  If you want to have the premium search for Tellicherry black peppercorns.  However, even your most generic whole black peppercorn is going to be better than anything, ANYTHING, that has been pre-ground.  I recommend a William & Bounds grinder.  They are cost effective, work fantastically, and are a restaurant industry standard.  I actually have the grinder that has a little handle on top so that I can just turn the crank.  

What about those really cute and expensive blends of black, white, green, and pink peppercorns?  They are basically a way to get you to spend more money, but I'll explain them each in a little more detail. Black peppercorns are the standard and we all know what they taste like.  They shouldn't just taste spicy, good black peppercorns should have fruity back-notes on the tongue.  White peppercorns are the second most used.  White peppercorns are peppercorns that have the black hull washed or rinsed off the outside.  This process gives them a slightly winey, more acidic flavor profile.  Many recipes will specifically call for white peppercorns only to impart a sophisticated subtlety.  For everyday use, my grinder is always full of a mix of black and white peppercorns at a roughly 1:1 ratio.   

On to the more elusive cousins: Green peppercorns are unripe peppercorns that are dried or brined. Most of us are familiar with the dried kind that are mixed in with the four-color blends that we display proudly in clear pepper grinders to entertain our dinner guests.  (Well, you do.  I don't.)  As might be expected, the fact that they are green lends them a more acidic and herbal quality. The most common use is in a traditional cognac-cream sauce for a steak.  Next time you pan fry a steak, remove said steak and tent with foil, de-glaze the pan with cognac & beef stock, reduce with chopped shallots & BRINED green peppercorns, finish with some cream, reduce, salt and pepper to taste.  Finally, pink peppercorns are not even actual pepper.  They are different entirely.  They have an interesting flavor profile that I think really works with veal, biscuits, and creme fraiche.  Hey, that's just me.  

OLIVE OIL

I get to the end of these things and I'm usually tired of writing.  However, this shouldn't go on to long.  Extra-Virgin Olive Oil is the first press of the olives, hopefully done cold.  It should never be cooked.  Olive oil is what you should be using for all of your cooking needs.  Pomace oil is the last press and is a bit dubious.  Any of these can be diluted with an equal part of canola oil for cost savings.  Also, use pure canola anytime you don't want the assertiveness of olive oil.  As for me, I'm lazy and EVOO has become so cost effective that I use it for everything.  If I'm doing high temperature frying, I dilute it half with canola.  If I want a really high-end finishing EVOO for salads or delicate appetizers, it's got to be Olio Verde.  It tastes like black pepper, fresh grass, and a hint of banana.  Don't have a heart attack when you see the price, a bottle of it will last you for a looooooooooong time.  

Wow.  That olive oil paragraph was a lackluster ending to this whole peace.  Please leave a comment if you want a question answered.